Recent happenings that I blame on being pregnant

1. I have to cross my legs whenever I sneeze or laugh really hard in order to avoid peeing my pants.

2. I cry during any country song I hear.

3. I play a little gameshow I made up every morning when I get dressed that I like to call, WILL...IT...FIT??!!

4. The smell of dino nuggets makes me want to vomit.

5. I cried when my hubs left for scout camp.

6. I eat a bowl of cereal every night before bed.

7. I can't fit both my rowdies on my lap at the same time when I read to them.

8. I feel a little guilty when I drink Diet Coke.

9. I think I am moaning and groaning too much when I get up because I heard Lola let out a total old-lady groan when she got up off the floor this morning.

10. I may or may not have called (and talked to) Dr. Laura. Yes, true and embarassing as it is, I did. Would you care to know how the phone call went? If so, read on.

Well, I called her after one particularly stressful morning because I thought I had abused my child. She told me that I was justified in what I had done, that I wasn't abusive, and that my only mistake was apologizing to my little...treasure. Incidentally she also told me that my child didn't see me as an authority figure and that was why he was doing what had caused the incident. She also told me some long story that I didn't hear a word of because I was on a cell phone and I didn't dare ask her to repeat herself. She also told me a joke she thought was really funny and laughed really loudly in my ear. Then she told me to splash some cold water on my face because I was bawling. I am such a weirdo, right?? My mother was highly offended that I didn't turn to her before Dr. Laura.

You can stop laughing at me now...